i just sent this text using only my big toe
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize