I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
