Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
