woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's the barista slut.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
