I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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