haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
