sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
