Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
