too bad you live with your parents still
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
