He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
