Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
