I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
