if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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