You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
