before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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