this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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