I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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