Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
