She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
