i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
