So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize