1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
