Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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