have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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