I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
