I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
