Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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