So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize