Already got asked if we're dating
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize