I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
