I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
