i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
