there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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