to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
