Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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