this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
