I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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