PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
