if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
