I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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