is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize