Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize