it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
