its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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