I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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