Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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