she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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