My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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