just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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