I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think your dad took our porno
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
