I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Your tits are I can't wait for
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize