Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
