The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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