I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize