i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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