Yo dont text me then not text me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
