Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
