Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
