you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
