i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize