Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
